As She Thinks

She makes life more complicated than it is
She sets high goals for herself
Higher than she probably should
And when she fails, she is disappointed
She has regrets, she tries to erase the past

What she fails to realize is each event of action
In the past is part of who she is
Just as much as her skin color or height is
Part of her entire being

By trying to eliminate an event in the past
She is essentially removing a layer of her skin
Without that layer, she is and becomes more exposed
More susceptible to disappointment

More vulnerable to the truth, Seen naked by everyone around her.
This type of drama results in her quest
A quest for an answer
Not just any answer
The answer to her pain, Her suffering, Her sorrow.
She finds herself trapped, chained to her new life
A life which suffocates her inner being
The power to free herself from the chains of Her new life, lies inside of her.
Bound by the chains of her own life,
Chains to which she holds the key,
She fails to realize there is no need for such a struggle
She finds there is not a test she must give herself
In order to survive
Her true test is to honor her gut
Honor and trust her intuition
Just be
Be who she really is deep inside her core
Acting solely on her gut instincts
Never questioning why or how and simply living
Replacing anger and frustration with love and kindness
Rather than constantly questioning why or how
Becoming angry and frustrated at her own abilities
As she thinks she must do.
She is constantly evolving in a circle
A circle which just continues to repeat life’s events
Until she learns the lessons she is destined to learn
She will not be released from the circle
The teachers will not appear until she is ready to accept the lessons

She always ends up back to where she started
She is put there for a reason
And placed on a particular path
She struggles to survive while on this path
Thinking it will result in a different outcome
She must learn to trust the intuitive being inside of her
Trust that she will and does know the right answer

Trust that her path will lead her to a utopia
A utopia of her own, unique to others
But ironically the same as others
This is the existence she is striving for
To simply exist in her homemade utopia

But the reality is, there is no end to her struggle
She will still continue to question, doubt, contradict
Search for the answer once again
The circle continues to perpetuate itself
The vital energy is constantly
Flowing, flowing like a river
Gushing with emotions while
Displaying a sense of calmness deep inside
The truth will inevitably surface
She will despise the truth
She will ignore the truth
She will embrace the truth
She will learn to love the truth
The truth will be in her every breath
She will no longer need to make
Her life complicated

Simplicity, silence, oneness
All knowing and knowing nothing at all
Childlike in her ability to perceive
What is real
What is genuine
What is truth

Never questioning why or how
She is content just to be
Finally
Just to not know
Just be in awe, just to exist
And all will be as it should.

copyright 2007 anne manera

i am here to exist
in everywhere else bu
inside my mind
and will endure
the only way I know how.

right now,
in this moment,
there is no one else,
no one else in my way
to set myself aside
and shine through.

copyright 2007 anne manera

all alone she slept
haunted by the
vibrations in her head,
the face in front
of her eyes.
silently, the eyes
appeared, fading
into the darkness.
the voices came in
the silence.
whispering as she slept.
the rumbling in her
head was akin to
a train overhead.
the eyes appeared
to be staring back
at her
she close her eyes
stared back
at the reflection.
all alone in the dark.

copyright 2007 anne manera

the angel appeared in
the corner of
the room
the cobwebs draping
her shoulders
creating
an appealing silhouette
she spoke
she took her hand
rest now.
close your eyes.
weep.
be still.
she rose, she stood.
she wallked away
the angel stood in
the corner of the room.

copyright 2007 anne manera

drip, drip, drip
tick, tick, tick
the sounds of the night
louder
softer
silence
longing for silence
silence in my mind
silence in my heart
louder
softer
silence fills the room

copyright 2007 anne manera

love is all
around her
glowing like a
radiant sunlight
at noon.
the light fills
her heart.
warming her from
the inside out.
a cloud moves
overhead
the light begins
to disappear.
slowly, the coldness
of her heart
shines through.
the glow of the
radiant light
is no more.
dulled by the
clouds overhead.

copyright 2007 anne manera

visions of the future
clouded by reality
dreams stopped by
jealousy
jealosy of others
ugly jealosy

often times visions
are clear
other times they
are murky

copyright 2007 anne manera

hands shaking,
trembling
heart pounding,
racing fast
thoughts clouded,
muddled
impatience sets in.
cannot think
cannot help myself.
fearful of the
future.
heart pounds
hands shake.

copyright 2007 anne manera

i am lost within
my mind
thoughts racing
through my head
thoughts of who
I am
who I was
who I want to be
who I cannot be
who others want
me to be
who I wish I was
who I wish I weren’t
all valid thoughts
or are they figments
of my imagination?
will the thoughts
materialze?
he who holds the
power to one’s dreams
is able to unlock the
future.
furture — better locked or
unlocked?

copyright 2007 anne manera

the eyes are still
there when I close
my eyes.
the amber color
stares back at
me with a twinkle
a twinkle which
lights up the sky.
the eyes are far away.
who are they?
am I looking into
a mirror?
a mirror which
reflects only my
eyes in their
deepest state?
the eyes are alone
they are sad.

copyright 2007 anne manera